This spring, summer & fall has been a string of doctor’s visits. For all my kids, both human and fur.
While this may not seem striking to most moms, it is for me.
Why you say?
Well, first, my darling husband always took care of all those things. I was 40 minutes away working downtown or out of town. Rob is awesome, wonderful, always “home plate”. But, Not a lot has actually changed, except for the fact that we both work from home and are more busy than ever with work, scouts, community, freinds, and life in general. Our divide and conquer attitude is even more evident now even, after 20 years of marriage. We are always there to step up and help each other out. We don’t judge. We always make it work.
So what is funny (and why I am working this out on paper) is that I have had a unique series of opportunities to be a “normal” mom in our house (yeah, I know define normal, so read “NT” mom).
Evidence . . .
Middle School Secretary’. Last year, Sean needed items taken to him late in the day. I checked in with the office, sign in, ask where I am supposed to take said stuff, and the “nice” lady is practically shocked that “Sean, really does have a mother.” Because, this is actually the first time that I met “said” office attendant. Awkward. I tried to laugh it off, but Rob helped me understand that he would expect most “dad’s” would get that same treatment too. & That it is the “women’s girl’s club that evidently was keeping track of my attendance.” Really . . . Hmmmm.
Jeremy’s Final Ortho Appointment. Yes. Our young adult decided to try braces and then pull them off. But as a 17 year old, he could not sever the contract. Ring. Ring. Yes, I understand this is what he wants. yes. I will be right down and sign the appropriate paper work. Yes this is HIS choice. No. He actually has a choice. He is an eagle scout and can review his pros and cons and therefore make these decisions on his own.
Sean’s ENT appointment. Sean has suffered from nose bleeds from allergies etc. This summer was especially brutal. Bleeds during Brave work day, a good gusher on our Scuba trip. We are blessed with several (many) talented doctors in the troop. They said there are several easy procedures to cauterize the capillaries. Easy Peasy. Except for the “fill the doctor medical paper work out”. I mean. I know the important stuff (birthday, allergies) but filling out al the rest of the stuff???? I tried my best and then handed the paper work over to Sean and said help me complete the answers.
Ugh! That was the day I realized I must have missed “mother” school.
and yet, there was more!!
Local college Night. More orthodontist appointments, school teacher conferences, back to school nights, filling out senior night paper work, portraits pictures, helping to reschedule portraits (ugh who did those people pick for the contract), site college visits, taking my 18 year old to the doctor and getting to watch him sign his official contract. (Yes, you do have to read the HIPPA form and sign your consent) and driving duty. Lots of driving duty.
Who knew I missed so much???????
But. Stopppp!!!!!!! I don’t think it is “mother” negligence!!!!!
This year has been like the Earth to the Moon series, where one of the astronauts can’t believe he didn’t know that his kid had his appendix out. Yup that’s me. Just because Parents are out of town does not make them absent parents. It is more of a realization (and extreme gratefulness) that it all mysteriously happened, still, without co (read both) parents attending each & every doctor’s appointment is a success!!
Beyond the normal stress of worrying that I didn’t fill out the paper work correctly, I just feel like a fish out of water. I don’t know the routines or the small talk. I wait in the rooms waiting for “them” to come and talk to me. I worry I won’t have the right answer and have to call my husband. I worry I made the wrong decision. I just worry.
Breathe some more.
So, my fish out of water odyssey came to another fork in the road. I had to take Scout to the vet today.
First let me say, I am GREAT at vet appointments. Either you are just taking the pooches in for their annual check up and shots or you get to provide the vets and techs with an analytical list of things that are wrong. They, then, poke and prod said pooch and try to determine the course of treatment. Second. Even with modern medicine, I think vets probably have it has hard as pediatric medicine. That is, you only have antidotal observational data and tests to determine what’s wrong and a course of action. Everything else observation and experience.
We boarded the dogs last weekend and they came home with upset tummies. One then the other. Not fun. No one is happy. The last one standing is Scout. For as much as he eats, he does not have the stomach of our first dog Newton. Newton gnawed plastic for fun. He ate fences just to piss off the neighbors and loved gold necklaces laced between his teeth. But he never threw up, never had any issues with food or foreign objects. An iron stomach.
But I digress.
Just when I think the fur babies are getting better, its worse again. Time to make a vet visit. With a busy morning of calls, Rob scheduled Scout’s appointment at 3pm. No problem. Just try to bring some poop for testing. Unfortunately. Getting dogs to poop on demand is about as easy as getting infants to poop before you get on a plane. GOOD LUCK!!! Oddly enough, my stars aligned (slightly).
Dogs pooped. Bagged and Tagged. DONE!
Next challenge. Taking one in the car without the other. Trap Buck in office with Dad. DONE!
Car Ride?? Easy Peasy.
Exit car? NO PROBLEMO!!!!
Get up on counter to greet People? Got it!
Waiting in exam room for test results???? okay. there we have it. that sucks. In fact. I am not sure who was more uncomfortable, me or Scout. The benches are too high. there are two doors to watch. The sounds out side the door are ridiculous (more evidence that people don’t censor what they talk about), and poor animals going in and out, chitter chatter whining and they can’t see the parade of activity. Hence. Stress. So my goal was to do training, refocus the energy. Sit. Stay. Come. Down. Settle. yes.
Odd . . . how the little things helped us both relax. But it did. I know I still had a ton on my mind when I got home, but those little exercises helped settle and refocus me.
So now what???
I know, I am still a fish out of water. I still have a ton on my mind. I have a super uber terrific husband. I am a mom to my two awesome sons. I take care of my pups. Yet. . .the secretary still works me up; I don;t get things like other NT’s and I can’t remember all the dates & info that go on all those forms.
whew. relax. enjoy the sunset shore. my day is done.